How has your relationship with God grown through the years? Do you have a close relationship with the Lord? Have you ever heard Him speak to you? Your spirit has the ability to hear the voice of God but it is a skill that you have to develop. You develop this skill by investing in your relationship with the Lord.

God always has something new to teach us. He is constantly at work in our lives, molding us and shaping us. Are you listening? Are you paying attention to what God is doing? Do you know what He is trying to do in your life?

From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Matthew 4:17

A time is coming when Jesus will be on the earth, physically, as the King. the focal point of His kingdom will be in Jerusalem and it will cover the whole earth. But that time is not yet.

If the kingdom of heaven has been at hand since Jesus was on the earth, where is it? Some may say it was present because Jesus was on the earth and it is no longer at hand. That, however, is about as far from the truth as we could get. Jesus is not here physically, but God’s spirit dwells in the hearts of His children. Therefore, the kingdom is present in our hearts. This is why it is so important to invest in your personal relationship with the Lord and develop a pattern of seeking to spend time with Him.

In any relationship the growth and development will always reflect the investment that was put into it. Most of us have many acquaintances, fewer close friends, and only a couple “ride or die” people who have been there through it all with us. As you think of the relationships in your life, you will notice the amount of investment into each relationship has had a profound effect on what category it has fallen into.

There are two ways to invest in a relationship: time and effort. You can do something like sending an encouraging text. This is more effort than time. Or you can get together for dinner. This requires plenty of effort but falls more visibly on the time side. Therefore it’s usually categorized as investing time.

With God, the main focus of your relationship with Him is what He did for you. Your relationship with the Lord will always be distinct in that way. For starters, Jesus made your relationship with Him possible when He gave His life on the cross, an investment that required an immeasurable amount of effort and a journey that took him around 30 years to complete. Furthermore He continues to invest time and effort for you every day. Scripture says that He is at the right hand of the Father continually interceding for us.

So what can you do to invest in your relationship with God? In my own life, this seems to happen in three main ways:

• Worshiping God together with other believers. The easiest way to do this is at church on Sunday. But any type of gathering on any day of the week with this intention will fulfill the same purpose. A prayer meeting, a Bible study, even getting together with friends and talking about how God has been there for you will foster an atmosphere of worship. Jesus said, “Wherever two or more are gathered in My name, there I am.” You may not realize it but you just spent time with the Lord and invested in your relationship with Him at dinner with your friends.
• Including God in your day to day life. This is extremely important and will help to create an atmosphere that feels like you have put God first. Talk to the Lord while you fulfill your daily obligations. Discus your interests. Scripture says “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Yes, the little things that are important to you but seem inconsequential are also important to Him, because you are important to Him. Bring your questions, concerns, and fears and lay them at His feet. You will be surprised at how often, and how clearly, He answers.
• Setting aside time. This is by far my favorite and I do this as often as possible. This is not always possible every day. Many of us have demanding schedules and are not able to have regular dedicated time. That is okay. You can talk with a friend over the phone while you wash the dishes. And in the same way, you can spend time with God while you get things done. God is in the kitchen just as much as He is in the bedroom or the prayer closet. But whenever possible, taking dedicated time is a sure way to foster growth in your relationship with the Lord. For me this usually looks like a 10 minute walk in the early morning. There is no schedule to this time. I like to leave it up to the Holy Spirit. Some days I will pray if there is something on my heart. Some days, I will spend the whole time in silence and just walk with the Lord. Some times I will sing praises. Some days I will stay home and study the scriptures. Some days, I will ask God a question and He will answer directly. Some days I will ask God a question and He will answer mysteriously or not at all, and I will need to do more seeking and praying on the matter. Sometimes these questions are important and sometimes they simply come from my curiosity. God has directly answered more of the causal questions than the serious ones. Many times as an answer to a serious question He will remind me of His faithfulness and simply tell me to trust Him. That is my favorite answer of all because it reveals that God has already been working in the situation.

The breath of life flows from God’s spirit (Genesis 2:7). A Christian who is truly alive is one who has a healthy relationship with the Lord. This relationship is what gives us strength against the attacks and temptations of the enemy. It is our rock and our anchor in difficult and painful times. And knowing that God has been there for me from the beginning is one of the most comforting and encouraging realizations that I have ever had.

Learn to foster growth in your relationship with the Lord. If you struggle to remember, creating a schedule with reminders may help you. If you have neglected your relationship with God and are afraid of facing Him, remember the story of the prodigal son. You can find this in Luke 15:11-32. Also remember what God says about Himself:

And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.”

Exodus 34:6-7

In God’s justice system the guilty are those who have not repented. Those who repent are forgiven, and so they are innocent. So wherever you find yourself, the door is always open. start investing in your relationship with God and you will be amazed at where He will take you.

Keep deception and lies far from me, Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is my portion,

Proverbs 30:8, NASB

While thinking and praying about this topic, I was reminded of a section in the book, Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan where Christian was walking along along the path to the Celestial City, and he traveled through the valley of the shadow of death. On the left side a treacherous bog lay waiting to swallow him. On the right, a deep, bottomless pit. The path itself was extremely narrow and difficult to remain on.

As Christians, we often find ourselves in a place like this. Many times in my life I have been there, with lies and deception encroaching on all sides, and every voice yelling so loudly that it threatened to overpower my own thoughts. Furthermore, I have seen many others step either to the left and become entangled in deception, or to the right and fall away from God completely. In every circumstance the person involved was convinced they were walking the right path.

This brings to mind what many have called one of the scariest passages in the Bible.

Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord,” shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, “Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?” And then I will declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!”

Matthew 7:21-23

So how do we know we are truly following God? The people of whom our Lord is speaking were deceived into believing they were on the right path.

In order to have assurance of first, salvation, and second, that we are truly following and being obedient to God, we should incorporate two things into our lives and practice them consistently. I say consistently because it is appropriate to work these into your daily schedule. Some take part in these two habits daily, some multiple times a day, some a few times a week. For my part, my goal is to practice daily, but due to the hectic and unpredictable nature of my schedule, which includes raising two very young children and being up a few times a night to feed the baby, I am not always able to take dedicated time for the Lord every single day with no distractions. The most important thing to realize is that your heart must be sincere and genuine before God and you must pursue Him with all your heart. As the scripture says,

…For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7

Pursue God through Studying His Word

How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You.

Psalms 119:9-11

One of the biggest problems in the American church today is that Christians are not reading their Bibles. They have a few scriptures they have learned, but other than that they have no idea what the Bible actually says. They go to church on Sunday and listen to their favorite celebrity pastor give a motivational message. Or they stay home and find a message online that interests them. This is no way to seek God sincerely through His word! The Bible was meant to challenge you, correct you, and change you, not just encourage you and make you feel like you are blessed and highly favored.

Did you know there are 31,102 verses in the Bible? That means if you know 300 verses, you are living your Christian life based off of less than 1% of the Bible. Sadly, there are many Christians out there who know far less than 300.

The word of God is full of truth. From the first page to the last, the knowledge and insights contained within are essential to developing a comprehensive understanding of the Gospel. For the Christian who desires to live a life free of deception and be obedient to all that God requires of Him, he should establish a regular habit of reading and studying the Bible.

Pursue God through Cultivating a Relationship with the Holy Spirit

However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.

John 16:13

The Bible teaches us that the Holy Spirit dwells within the Christian. There are several scriptures, like the one here, that speak of communication between the Holy Spirit and the Christian.

Here are a couple more:

And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.”

2 Corinthians 6:16

But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.

1 John 2:27

What a wealth of wisdom and knowledge is available to us as we seek to follow in God’s footsteps! The Bible is clear that the Holy Spirit will teach us all things from the Father and guide us into truth.

The easiest way to begin growing your relationship with God through the Holy Spirit is with prayer. Take an hour in the morning and set it aside to talk to God, and wait for His answer. As you continue in this practice, your spirit will grow in sensitivity to what God is saying to you.

Both the Word of God and the Spirit of God are Necessary

In Psalms 1, the man who refuses to do evil and instead meditates on God’s word is compared to a tree that is deeply rooted by streams of water. We can take that analogy and apply it here. The Bible is your root system. The more you study, learn, and apply it to your life, the deeper those roots grow. You will know what you believe and why. You will develop strong convictions. You will understand exactly what God requires of His children.

The Holy Spirit of God is comparable to the streams of water. When you listen to and obey the Holy Spirit, you find true life. You will receive the Joy of the Lord (Nehemiah 8:10) and the Peace of God (Philippians 4:7). A dynamic relationship with the Holy Spirit will add a dimension to your Christian walk that you had no idea you were missing. I truly believe that incorporating these two things and pursing God with all your heart through them will bring about new fulfillment and satisfaction in your walk with God. Ultimately, this is the only proven way to have assurance that you are not believing lies or taking part in deception, but following the path that God set out for you.

If you need an idea of where to start, read through the book of Romans. In this book the Apostle Paul gives a thorough, detailed explanation of the gospel and how to apply it to our lives. I read this book over the course of a single day and it offered me a very unique perspective. But if that doesn’t interest you, just start somewhere. The important thing is to develop consistency in your spiritual life. It is only through consistency in pursuing God that you can find new life and new growth.

Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.

Jeremiah 33:3

Whenever the topic of forgiveness is brought up, it tends to be met with resistance among Christians. Except, of course, if we are talking about receiving it. Now the blood of Christ is enough to cover all of our sin and it is always available, but it doesn’t stop with us. It extends past us to our brother or sister who offended us. Many times, for Christians, God uses us to show His mercy and grace to the people around us. For those of my readers who are Christians desiring to be used by God, I challenge you to desire to be used also in this way. It is a poor representation of Christ to ask for mercy for ourselves and judgement for our brother.

What instruction does Christ have for us regarding forgiveness?

Let’s start with one of the most well known verses.

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

Matthew 18:21-22

If we take this scripture literally, Christ is commanding us to forgive someone who sins against us 490 times in a row. But this is not the only instruction on forgiveness. In this next passage, Jesus raises the bar even further:

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:25

Read that one again. Could it be that the forgiveness you receive is dependent on the forgiveness you are willing to give? That is what Jesus seems to be saying.

Now let’s look at the Lord’s Prayer.

“And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors.”

Matthew 6:12

Here again, Jesus makes a connection between us extending forgiveness to others and receiving it for ourselves. If you pay attention to what Jesus is saying in the prayer, He is actually asking the Father to forgive Him according to how He has forgiven. This is the expectation Jesus has set for us. And two verses down, we see that is exactly what Jesus was getting at as He reiterates it and makes it unmistakably clear.

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15

As you can see a very high bar has been set. We are not permitted to hold anything against anyone, ever. No reason is good enough and no situation will disqualify God’s expectation toward us regarding how we forgive. Even if the same person does the same thing to us multiple times in a row, God still requires us to extend the same mercy and grace to them on the 100th time as we did on the first.

Why is it that God has such a high standard?

The answer to this question is also clearly laid out in scripture:

“…Freely you have received, freely give.”

Matthew 10:8

We have freely received of God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness. Not only did we receive this at the moment of salvation, but we continue to, every day. Every mistake we make, every sin, every offense towards God and other men; wiped clean and erased by Jesus’ blood. God goes so far as to say in Isaiah 43:25, “and remember your sin no more.” Every sin that you have repented of, God has forgiven you of and treats you as if you had never done it. Therefore, if any one should take this incredible gift and refuse to extend it to someone else, it is the height of arrogance. It carries the same spirit as one who would intentionally send someone into hell. He who refuses to forgive says to the one he is offended at, “I am more worthy of God’s love, mercy, and grace, than you.”

Now some may say that Matthew 10:8 is taken out of context when being used in the way it has been used here, since forgiveness is not one of the four things Jesus stated was to be given freely. The things He said were, “Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons.” However, look at the topic. These four statements revolve around setting people free. This was the focus of Jesus’ entire ministry. And as it happens, setting people free is exactly what forgiveness does. To be clear, other people are set free when God forgives them. When you forgive others, you set yourself free from the weight of carrying the offense. Therefore I submit that this verse is completely appropriate to be used as a supporting verse for forgiveness.

How do we forgive?

Perhaps the main reason why so many find forgiveness so difficult is because they do not understand how to go about it. Forgiveness is actually a very simple task. It requires the ability to make a choice contrary to how you feel, as well as a little bit of self discipline. Forgiveness does not require you to feel any certain way towards the one who offended you. You can immediately forgive someone regardless of whether you are still feeling hurt, angry, offended, etc. forgiveness has nothing at all to do with your feelings. It has everything to do with how you choose to respond in spite of how you feel.

For me personally, whenever I encounter a situation where my emotions will be involved, I like to have a response planned out in advance. This helps me to exercise control over myself and achieve a desired outcome. My plan for forgiveness is three steps:

1. I say, “I forgive this person for doing this thing.”

2. I say, “I will not take up offense.”

3. I pray a prayer of blessing for the person who offended me.

Something like this can go a long way towards continually walking in forgiveness towards others as God has commanded us to do.

Does refusal to forgive cost us our salvation?

If we take these scriptures alone, we could answer, yes. If God does not forgive our sins we cannot be saved. But we have not dealt with any scriptures that talk about salvation.

This is one example of why it is important to take the whole message of the gospel into account, not just part of it. If we conclude that we must exercise forgiveness in order to receive salvation, we will also conclude that our salvation is dependent on our works.

Take a look at these verses which tell us the opposite:

For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus,

Romans 3:24

So then what did Jesus mean when He said our sins will not be forgiven if we do not forgive the sins of others? There is one other verse that we should look at in order to complete this picture.

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

Matthew 7:1-2

To understand what I am getting at here you must realize that these words of Christ are not a flat out condemnation of all judgement. They are instead a warning that God will deal with us in the same way we deal with others. If we are gentle, we will be shown gentleness. If we show mercy, we will be shown mercy. If we are harsh, we will be shown harshness. Likewise, if we forgive, we will be forgiven. And if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. In summary, the law of sowing and reaping: “Whatever a man sows, that He shall also reap.” Galatians 6:7

When Jesus talks about showing forgiveness in order to receive forgiveness, He is speaking of this law. This instruction is not so much an expectation of whether we will be given eternal life when we stand before God, but more so for how we carry out our lives here on the earth. We might experience God withholding forgiveness in forms such as:

• no longer hearing from the Holy Spirit

• no longer being able to discern God’s presence

• experiencing unending painful situations

There are many other ways. I have heard it said that those who refuse to forgive put themselves in a prison and do not allow the Holy Spirit to continue working in their life. I have also heard it said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. These are aptly descriptive examples drawn from the experience of being in a place of unforgiveness.

We have been commanded by God to give forgiveness as freely as we have received it. When we walk in disobedience to this command, it opens the door for the enemy to have access into our lives. And further, when we disobey God, we by default submit to and obey the devil. So we can fairly and accurately conclude that when we refuse to forgive, we are working against the kingdom of God and advancing the kingdom of darkness. That is one place I do not wish to be! I would much rather humble myself and extend a loving hand of forgiveness to my brother or sister whenever they do something to offend me. That is, after all, exactly what Jesus does on a daily basis for me.

Let’s conclude with a parable Jesus told about forgiveness. As you read do two things: first put yourself in the place of each character and identify how you would respond to the situation. Second, seek the Holy Spirit for how He wants to deal with you regarding this topic.

Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.

The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, “Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.” Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, “Pay me what you owe!” So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.” And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.

So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.

Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?”

And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

Matthew 18:23-34

…Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance…

Matthew 3:8

The power of Christ in your life is shown through your repentance. This is not a single event that happened at your salvation. No, that was only the beginning. Repentance is a day-by-day, hour-by-hour walk with God where we continually submit our will, our desires, and the places in our hearts where we found we did not submit, under the Lordship of Christ. Yielding to the Holy Spirit and standing against sin.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

Again, the power and authority you have as a Christian flows from the place of submission to God and repentance. When you are careful to walk in step with His will and not your own, the spots and wrinkles in your garment of righteousness that is given to you by the blood of Jesus’ sacrifice, through the vehicle of your repentance, will be cleaned and ironed. The cracks in your spiritual Ephesians 6 armor will be sealed. And you will notice in your life as changes take place, how you grow closer to God and your relationship with Him becomes more vibrant and life-filled.

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Matthew 7:13-14

The narrow gate is the gate of repentance. The difficult way is the way of repentance. The Holy Spirit continually molding you, shaping you, pruning you. You, continually yielding, submitting, renewing your mind, and allowing God to prune you as He leads. This is the life of a Christian truly submitted to God. He is in control of your life instead of you.

But now, O Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter; And all we are the work of Your hand.

Isaiah 64:8